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Thursday, January 22, 2009

A night in Chicago

I was in Chicago with my roommate visiting some friends and staying with them for the night and going out to a "free drink party" at a local Chicago bar.  

First of all I love the idea of the free drink party.  Basically, for an hour or two the bar offers all patrons free drinks to get you so drunk that you won't possibly be let in to any other bar and will likely spend your night emptying your wallet at their bar or throwing up in their bathroom or sidewalk out front.

We arrive at our friend's apartment and immediately go to the liquor store.  We come back with too much beer, too much rum and not enough Coke.  We pop the tops and start in while watching the Britney Spears movie "Crossroads."  Color commentary starts flowing like diarrhea from our mouths, the movie deserves it.

We decide to head to the free drink party and leave the apartment to get a cab or walk to the bar, I can't remember.  

We get to the free drink party and the bar is packed.  It is impossible to get to the bar to order drinks, which totally diminishes the fun of the free drinks.  

I finally make it to the bar and wave the bartendress over.  I hand her $40 and tell her that every time she sees me at the bar I want her to come over and serve me immediately.  

It works!

Soon the party gets rocking, we all have drinks, and I am performing Flashdance.

I was told the next day that we ended up leaving this bar and going to another in a cab, but to me it was all the same place.

When we get to the next bar my roommate is not allowed in, the free drink party succeeded.  He gets angry and decides he will sprint from the entrance of the new bar as quickly as he can.  I catch up with him and headlock him to make sure he stays.  

He promises not to run if I let go.  I let go, he pauses for a moment, and runs.  I give up and head back to the bar.

The next thing I remember is hailing a cab by myself, telling the cab driver the address of the apartment we were staying at and arriving at the apartment by myself.

The front door is locked and I do not have a key so I go around back, like any predator/robber would and scale an 11 foot iron fence, climb the back fire escape a al spiderman, and start kicking the back door of the apartment fireman style.  

I awake my freind's roommate who comes to the door and lets me in.  Ten minutes later my friend and the rest of the party return.  Five minutes later the police/security/rent-a-cops show up and want to arrest me, claiming I am an intruder.  My friend tells them I got locked out and everything is ok.  I go to bed not knowing where my 100 meter dash champion of a roommate is.

The next morning I get a call from my roommate that says he is at a different friend's apartment in Chicago.  He had run until he did not recognize any of the street names and then called this friend who came and picked him up.  

He gets dropped off at the apartment and we walk what seems like 5 miles to Jamba juice.

On the way home we think of starting a funny t-shirt business that we want to start.  A few examples of our best ideas...

"Alcohol saved my life."

"I cut down people, not trees."

A sleeveless shirt that says, "No sleeves, no problem."

A shirt for our friend in the Navy, "Seaman."

"Smoking... to die for!"

There were more but those are the best ones I remember.  I know there are a million online t shirt stores, but this idea was gold at the time.  Have any funny t shirt ideas, let me know!

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